Snow Removal Going Green

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In an effort to combat climate change, cut carbon emissions, and save precious funds for road repairs in South Carolina, wildlife biologists working with researchers from Clemson and USC Upstate have been training deer to clear snow by eating it. “They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and check this picture out!” Said Matthew Addams as he showed SONIC News a recent photo of trained deer clearing snow from a yard near Lake Hartwell. “It’s amazing how quickly and quietly these guys work.” When asked for her reaction, local resident Janet Lee had this to say: “They train them cats to eat coffee beans and then they pick through their poop, so rich people can drink that highfalutin cat poop coffee. I reckon we could bottle up some of this deer pee after they eat the snow, and sell it to that crowd.” DOT Officials are hopeful that the deer will work out, especially since they seem to hang out on the roadsides anyway, and don’t require overtime pay or lunch breaks. There is discussion about getting high visibility vests for the deer to wear while working, which could also help save them, should they be unfortunate enough to end up in the crosshairs of a hunter’s rifle.

Joanna Whitmire reporting for SONIC NEWS

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.