School under fire
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Coopersville schools has been under fire recently for having more than one boy get killed in the locker room. We sent someone to investigate and they returned with "I barely made it out alive." When police sent in a swat team, they lost several men to what they described as, a literal war zone of animals. The kids were armed with their bare hands and feet, towels, and axe bombs. One officer was asphyxiated, while 2 others were whipped and beat to death by fists, feet, and towles. Later we managed to interview one of the kids and they said "It is the way it should be, kill or be killed. It's great fun, you should join us some time."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.